Inaudible Nonsense

Don’t worry, I may live in DC, but my heart is in San Francisco. (Or at least a part of it, I’m a Chicagoan, with big soft spot for New York as well.)

As for SF: SF is such a hard city to get a handle on, because it really is so many different places. And it celebrates that. And celebrates it’s character as a city of characters (it’s tourist slogan is “Only in San Francisco” which is true.) It celebrates it’s scrappiness as well and its blue collar heritage. It’s very much a town that can be full of wealth and glamour, but doesn’t like to put on airs. It doesn’t have to in many ways, because as you’ve seen, it’s in a stunning location.

I think Jacobs talked about how SF is a city of vistas and views. And she’s right. Even its blocks that on a map appear to go forever, but often dead end, or become stairs for a little while, create this system where because the road will just end at a cliff, that you have views in completely unexpected places. It has so many different types of neighborhoods. And it’s a city of neighborhoods (or “Districts” as San Franciscans call them). Where each can function completely self contained — every District seems to have at least one of all the basics: a neighborhood bar, a sit down restaurant, a movie theater, a coffee shop, a sushi joint, a taqueria, a hardware store and a clothing store too. Very likely also a tattoo parlor. 

I remember being at a party in the 1990s and someone saying that it was the first time they had been off their block in a month! And frankly, that doesn’t seem that odd to me anymore. 

So what should you see and do?

Well you’ll need to get a feel for the different kinds of neighborhoods. Some of my favorites:

1. The Haight aka Haight-Ashbury. Well, just because. Plus, great shopping. I’m not sure how old you are, or your sexual preferences. But you still need to go to the Haight. It’s definitely youth oriented, but then you walk around and you realize that the people that live in the Haight have been there for 30 years. My suggestion, take the N-Judah train up and get off in Cole Valley, which is just through the tunnel. It’s a neat train ride. And Cole Valley is one of those cute little SF neighborhoods that’s tucked into a corner and has great food, a fantastic hardware store. And seems miles away from anywhere. You can walk down to Haight from Cole Valley. It’s like 4 blocks I think. 4 blocks, and you are in a completely different space. Different people. Different atmosphere. 

2. Pacific Heights. You’ve seen the mansions of the Marina (and I thought to myself — those aren’t mansions, those are just nice houses.) I mean, if you really want to see mansions, you have to go to Pacific Heights. See Millionaires Row (which is probably really billionaires anymore, but old names don’t change on things like that). It’s along Broadway at the crest of the ridge that drops down to the Marina. Check out Fillmore street for another collection of boutique shopping, like Georgetown, only classier. And more out of the way (and not overrun with tourists). Fillmore in just a few blocks is something that goes from the really wealthy Broadway crown, down to Japantown (and a new theater owned by Robert Redford and Sundance Festival) and across Geary to the old Fillmore Jazz District. All in about 10 blocks, you’ve been throw three neighborhoods.

3. The Mission District. The Mission is hard to get a handle on. Mission is the old back bone of what was once a working class Irish neighborhood. Valencia, though, is probably more “hip.” Both aren’t tony. In fact, they don’t really clean up at all. But you’ll find so much street vitality. And then all this random pockets of stuff that just seem out of character with the space. While in DC it seems that things go from really rough to completely gentrified. Change happens slower in SF, and there’s a huge resistance to change. So you’ll find there will be a taqueria next to a high end organic grocery store. Or a top gourmet restaurant across the street from a dive bar. The Mission is definitely where these things collide like that. Start at 16th and Mission at the BART station and go from there.

4. The Castro District. I’m a gay male, that spent my 20s in SF. So the Castro and the South of Market (and to some extent Pulk Gulch) where a big part of my coming of age. I recommend the Castro just to see the gayborhood. And to check out what’s playing at the fabulous Castro Theater, which is a great big old time movie house, with a fantastic show schedule and special events. The shopping around there is trendy, but there’s some good walking around there. You can take the bus up the hill on Castro Street (which I’ve forgotten the number on, it’s the Divisidero Bus, but I’ve forgotten the number). You’ll go up an impossibly steep hill. And you’ll come down and get off at 24th Street. Now you are in Noe Valley, which I guess is like the Park Slope of SF. Or Del Ray. Lots and lots of baby carriages. I lived on that street, and despite the Baby Carriages, it’s a great neighborhood. If you are feeling strong legged, you can walk up Sanchez Street to the top. Amazing views from up there. And this little enclave of arts and crafts mansions. And then there will be a series of stairs back down to 18th and you’ll be in the Castro District again.

5. The Western Parts. Lest you think that all SF is quaint victorian-esque dense neighborhoods. You probably should check out some of the Western parts of the city. Take the K, L or M train through Twin Peaks and get off at West Portal (the first stop after the tunnel). It’s sort of 1920s/20s era area out there. Forest Hills and West Portal were championed by the Sierra Club and Daniel Burnham and the like. It’s really a precursor to modern day suburbs — heavily planned, tightly controlled. Winding streets, matching street lamps, underground utilities. Etc. Etc. West Portal is the shopping area. All done in that early 20th century mission style — red tile roofs, etc. Good places to eat out there though. The other two main parts of the western lands are the Sunset District and the Richmond District. The more gentrified parts of the Sunset District are closer in and closer to the heart of Golden Gate Park. You can reach that with the N-Judah again. I’d recommend taking the street cars to as many places as you can. Just to experience all the feel of the streetscapes. Take the historic F-Market, take the J-K-L-M-N lines to their various end points, and take the new T line out through the Mission bay and down to near the old shipyards. Anyway, back to the western parts. Out in the Richmond District, which is a little harder to get to, you can take the 38-Geary bus from Union Square out that way and get off at once the streets start going to numbers 2nd Avenue is a good place. Walk North to Clement and you’ll find another little pocket of awesomeness. It’s very chinese and, oddly enough, Russian out there. Plenty of great places to eat. And Clement has a great used bookstore, Green Apple. And good, cheap furniture wholesalers. Kind of like Bethesda used to be before it got all fancy. But yet, you’ll find there are tons of people around there.

Obviously, I could go on and on. But I think that’s a good start. If you want a different tour to take, definitely do the Barbary Coast tour. And if you want the four ultimate tourist experiences: Alcatraz, a Cable Car, the Bleach Blacket Babylon show and Chinatown.